Positive Thinking Taboo

How do people “Just be happy”? It’s like, oh ok then, I hadn’t thought of that…

“Anger isn’t worth it”…. Pardon? Oh of course, next time I get angry I’ll have someone remind me to calm down, that should help… Er…

But emotions are valid & they shouldn’t be supressed. They can guide us to good outcomes, very usefully, when we become aware of why we are feeling them & choose: Do we need to lower our standards of what we expect from a situation or do we need to change our situation…?

Ideally you would notice emotions in sensory terms (descriptions of sensations from your senses). So when you have feelings you can say to yourself “that’s interesting, I felt really dizzy & heavy in the middle when that happened, why did I react like that?”

Labelling emotions sometimes helps, but rarely gets the exact experience across if you want to explain how you feel, nor does it help you to attach too much meaning when explaining why you feel it, because most likely, it’s something you weren’t even aware of that triggers it off… A certain tone of voice, shaped nose, feel of material, colour of light even, anything can be hard wired for an emotional response, from some previous memory in your experience.

There is a lot of information available about Martin Seligmans ‘Dog in the box’ story to explain how people learn to have a positive outlook, & why they didn’t have it to begin with. Here’s a link to an animated book review.

Basically it comes down to what you remember most in your experience. What emotions got coupled with your experiences, which then formed your opinions about what is possible in the world? Then without even being aware of it, you have a kind of pre-set goal in mind, & whatever is in your mind you go around proving – it’s so you feel safe in certainty. The brain wants to be certain, which is good to know…

The technique is to change the pre-set idea (if it’s not helping you). To stop your vibe jinxing everything,  guide yourself to a better ‘higher outlook’ to what is really possible…

Consider this: “Feed & clothe your slave & he is no longer your slave” is actually like saying “Keep them in the dark & they won’t ask for much”.

There is a process (The belief change process) to guide you through how to feel more positive. You will probably find it very logical now you understand this is what your brain was doing anyway. It breaks apart the negative attitute using your ability to ‘doubt yourself’ (every behaviour has a place where it’s appropriate) & then to find a more beneficial way to look at things, using better benchmarkers (better examples of stuff from your life).